The names have been changed to protect the innocent, you morons!

So. It turns out this whole blog thing is public - who knew?
Now, before you hit me with all those Snigger Out Loud acronyms, I did actually know that and all, kind of in the same way I know where the kerb is but still manage to park light years away from it. But, as I am the only gombeen in the blogosphere who has used her own name on her blog (ah, there's no end to my smarts), several people who know me and who clearly have far too much time on their hands have happened upon this little corner of the internet. Curses. I mean, I knew every post was out there to be read by all and sundry - I just expected all and sundry to be strangers I would never meet, cyber people as it were, not people I know or have known in my ramblings and certainly not gentlemen I might have stepped out with on occasion. So I knew it was public - I just forgot that I actually know members of the public, and now they know a lot more about me. Oops.

First up was the Neurotic Philosopher, who stumbled upon my last blog. And the one or two entries that, you know, may or may not have referred to him. Yikes! Abashed, I immediately erased all the relevant posts, along with any that revealed me as anything less than a Nietzsche-spoutin' Barthes-totin' genius. You can imagine what that left - the odd pilfered photo and some tumbleweed. Luckily I changed domain name and learned from my mistakes. Ha! Turns out you can't teach an old blog(ger) new tricks. So along came the new charming friend with whom I was attempting to come over all coy and mysterious. Yep. I'm such an enigma, me - read all about it in my highly personal online journal! And yesterday, lo and behold, the delightful Aussie Ex (I am compelled to use such adjectives as I now know he reads this, but in your defence AE, it's sincerely meant) mailed me to let me know he Knew Where I Lived. Cyberly, I mean. So any airbrushed version of my love life I might have been tempted to create, along the lines of a millionaire-rocket-scientist-human-rights-lawyer boyfriend who plays guitar to ailing children in his spare time, makes furniture and rescues baby seals in his manly arms - well, kinda scuppered, frankly.

So just to set the record straight, my name is Juan-Paddy and I am a very tall gay farmer from Tuvalu. Google me!